Losing a baby—whether through miscarriage, stillbirth, or neonatal loss—is one of the most devastating experiences a person can endure. The grief that follows is profound and unique, often shifting over time. While acute grief is a natural response to loss, for some, the grief can become prolonged, complicated, or traumatic. Understanding the differences can help in recognising when additional support may be needed.

Acute Grief: The Normal but Intense Early Response to Loss

In the immediate aftermath of loss, acute grief is expected and can feel all-encompassing. Some common experiences include:

• Deep sadness, crying, and waves of emotional pain
• Feelings of numbness, disbelief, or shock
• Physical symptoms such as fatigue, loss of appetite, or sleep disturbances
• Longing for the baby, including dreams or thoughts of what might have been
• Avoiding reminders of the loss or, conversely, seeking comfort in them
• Acute grief is intense but gradually shifts over time. Although the loss is never forgotten,
• many find ways to integrate their grief into their lives, allowing space for joy and meaning
• alongside the sorrow.

Prolonged Grief Disorder: When Grief Becomes Stuck

For some, however, grief does not ease but instead remains overpowering and unchanging. Prolonged Grief Disorder (PGD), recognised as a distinct condition, occurs when someone continues to experience severe, life-disrupting grief for more than six months to a year after the loss. Symptoms may include:

• An overwhelming yearning for the baby that does not lessen over time
• Intense sorrow that remains just as painful months or years later
• Difficulty accepting the loss, feeling stuck in the past
• Persistent feelings of emptiness or meaninglessness
• Avoidance of anything that reminds them of the baby to an extreme degree
• Ongoing difficulty engaging in daily life, work, or relationships

Traumatic Grief: When Loss Is Deeply Distressing

Some parents experience traumatic grief, especially if the loss was sudden, unexpected, or involved medical trauma. This can manifest as:

• Flashbacks, nightmares, or distressing memories
• Heightened anxiety, hypervigilance, or feeling ‘on edge’
• Fear of future pregnancies or deep distrust in medical professionals
• Feelings of guilt or self-blame

Traumatic grief may overlap with symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), making it essential to seek specialised support.

Finding Support: Effective Therapies for Perinatal Grief

Grief is deeply personal, and everyone’s journey is different. However, when grief becomes prolonged or traumatic, professional support can be life-changing. In my therapy practice, I offer several evidence-based treatments to help navigate grief:

• Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing (EMDR) – Particularly helpful for traumatic grief, EMDR helps process distressing memories and reduce their emotional intensity.
• Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) – Helps address negative thought patterns, guilt, or avoidance behaviours that may be keeping grief stuck.
• Interpersonal Psychotherapy (IPT) – Focuses on how grief affects relationships and provides support in reconnecting with life after loss.

If you or someone you love is struggling with prolonged or traumatic grief, know that support is available. Healing does not mean forgetting; it means finding a way to carry the love and memories forward while allowing yourself to move toward a meaningful future. If you’re interested in therapy or have questions about grief, please reach out—I am here to help.